Andria
Publius Terentius Afer (Terence)
Translated by Christopher Kelk
Scene from Terentius' play Andria
Bernard Picart (French, 1673 - 1733) - The Rijksmuseum
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PROLOGUE
The poet, when he first began this work,
Thought that the only task that he could shirk
Was pleasing folk with plays that he would write.
But he’s discovered things have turned out quite
Otherwise for prologues all are worthless, not
For purposes of writing out the plot,
But rather answering the calumnies
Of that foul, ancient playwright. Listen, please,
And heed the thing that this playwright has rated
Faulty. It was Menander who created 10
Both Andria and Perinthia. He who knows
One well knows both of them. Now, both of those
Are similar in plot, but nonetheless
In style they differ: he came to confess
That from the former play he had transferred
Into the latter those parts he preferred
To think fit there. But critics now condemn
These means, and thus he is at odds with them.
These critics think they should not coalesce.
By being knowing, do they not confess 20
That they know nothing? In rebuking thus
Our poet, they’re rebuking Naevius,
Plautus and Ennius, those bards whom he
Has as his models and whose laxity,
And not their mystifying carefulness,
He’d rather emulate. I must impress
On you that you should stay mum and refrain
From maledictions lest you should attain
The knowledge of your faults. And therefore be
Friendly and neutral so that you may see 30
What hope is left for him and if the plays
That he’ll compose anew in future days
Will have an audience to show approval
Or suffer a dishonourable removal.
ACT I
SCENE I
Simo [to the servants]
Take these provisions to the house. Away!
Sosia, hither! I’ve a few words to say
To you.
Sosia Consider it done. These things, I guess,
Have to be handled with some heedfulness.
Simo Oh no, it’s something else.
Sosia What further thing
Could it be that I should be handling? 40
Simo What I’ve in hand needs no ability
From you but loyalty and secrecy,
Which I have always seen that you evince.
Sosia Then I await your wishes.
Simo Ever since
I bought you as a youngster, I have been
Compassionate to you, and time has seen
You made a freedman for your excellence
In serving me. The greatest recompense
I’ve owned I’ve spent on you.
Sosia Indeed I know.
Simo I am not changed.
Sosia I’m glad to have it so. 50
I’m pleased to serve you well, and grateful, too,
That I have been of so much use to you.
But I’m uneasy,, since you censure me,
It seems, for casting from my memory
My gratitude. But what is it that you
Would have? In one word tell me.
Simo That I’ll do.
But, first of all, the marriage you believe
Is real is actually not.
Sosia Why, then, deceive?
Simo I’ll tell you everything: thereby you can
Know how my son is living and the plan 60
I have. When he had reached maturity,
He then could live more unrestrictedly:
For earlier how could you know his mood
When youth, fear and a master all tabooed
His movements?
Sosia Ah, yes!
Simo Most youths entertain
Some hobby – for they’ll hunt with hounds or train
Their horses or turn to philosophy,
But he was not concerned particularly
With any one of these activities
Despite the fact that he did all of these 70
Quite well, and I was glad.
Sosia Quite rightly, too,
For I believe that nobody should do
Only one single thing excessively.
Simo Such was his mode of life – to readily
Listen to those he met and heed them all,
Resign himself to them that he might call
Himself their acolyte, while studying
Their interests, and never arguing
With anyone. Thus very easily
One may gain praise, while lacking jealousy 80
And gaining friends.
Sosia Wise! Now obsequiousness
Spawns friends but hatred comes from openness.
Simo Three years ago a woman crossed the sea
From Andros to live here, for poverty
And careless kin had made her emigrate:
Most fair and young was she.
Sosia I’m in a state
Of fear that there will come some injury
From this Andrian woman.
Simo Well, first she 90
Lived frugally in hardship while she sought
A modest living that her labour brought
By carding wool. Then lovers came to woo,
Promising wealth (as all men tend to do,
Plunging from toil to sensuality).
Consenting to them she began to see
The profit in her beauty. Some would take
My son with them and I would quickly make
The observation: “He is certainly
Besotted.” Then at dawn, when I would see 100
The to and fro of servants, I would say
To one of them, “Who was it yesterday
Who had Chrysis?” (The Andrian woman thus
Was named).
Sosia I get it.
Simo He would say Phaedrus,
Clinias or Niceratus, for these men
All loved the woman. I inquired then,
“What did Pamphilus do?” He answered me,
“He paid his shot and dined.” This caused me glee.
I asked the same thing on another day
And there was nothing further he could say 110
To implicate my son. It proved to me
The flawless evidence of his chastity.
For after one’s seen such proclivities
Up close and isn’t roused by them, then he’s
Able to live correctly, you may be
Assured. I felt joy that unanimously
Folk praised the lad, glad for my happiness
In having a son with such high-mindedness.
Well, what’s the use of words? Chremes was spurred
By what of my son Pamphilus he’d heard 120
And of his own accord he came to me
To give his only girl in matrimony
With a large dowry, and I was delighted
And acquiesced, and so their troth was plighted,
The wedding day announced.
Sosia What explanation
Is there that would forestall their celebration?
Simo You’ll hear it. A few days subsequently
Chrysis was dead.
Sosia Happy fortuity!
Chrysis unnerved me.
Simo Frequently my son
Was to be seen accompanying each one 130
Of those who were her lovers. It was he
Who organized the funeral, mournfully
Weeping with them, and this brought me some joy
Since I concluded that, although my boy
Had insubstantial feelings for her, he
Yet took her passing with such gravity.
But had he loved her, what would he have done
For me, his father? For what in my son
I saw were duties of great sentiment
And goodwill. In a word, therefore, I went 140
To attend her funeral with nothing to fear,
I thought.
Sosia Aha, what happened?
Simo You will hear.
We follow her bier, and accidentally
Among the women present there I see
A beauteous maid.
Sosia Most likely.
Simo Oh, a lass
Whose modest mien no other could surpass,
And charming, too. Because she seemed to me
To grieve more than the other girls while she
Was more genteel in form than all the rest,
I sought the serving-maids with a request – 150
“Who is she?” “Chrysis’ sister,” they all said.
And then it struck me – her own sister’s dead;
No wonder all those tears, that sympathy.
Sosia I fear what you’re about to tell to me.
Simo Meanwhile the funeral carries on, and so
We follow it and to the tomb we go.
They placed her on the pyre, and there were tears.
Meanwhile the sister whom I mentioned nears
The flame too carelessly. Then, terrified
For her, my son Pamphilus signified 160
His well-disguised and veiled love: at a run
He went to her and said, “My darling one,
Glycerium,” as he clasped her to him, “why
Do you do this? Why do you wish to die?”
And then, so that you easily might see
The love they shared, she so affectionately
Fell weeping in his arms.
Sosia What’s that you say?
Simo I came back then in anger and dismay
With yet no cause for chiding him. He might
Have said, “What have I done? Is it not right? 170
For I have saved a girl who wished to fling
Herself into the flames. Sound reasoning!”
Sosia You’re right. If you find culpability
In one who saves a life, how would you be
With one who’s carried out atrocities?
Simo Next day I had a visitor – Chremes:
He yelled and spoke of a disgraceful thing:
He’d heard that my son was cohabiting
With that outsider. I vehemently
Demurred; he urged the tale’s veracity. 180
And then I left him there as he denied
To give his daughter up.
Sosia Did you not chide
Your son?
Simo I had no great justification.
Sosia How so?
Simo “You specified a termination,
Father, to this,” he said. “The time is nigh
When by another’s disposition I
Shall have to live, and therefore please allow
Me to be my own master just for now.”
Sosia How can you chide him now?
Simo If he should say,
Because of his sweetheart, the wedding day 190
Will not arrive, that surely first of all
Is a transgression, on which I should call
My son, and now I’m trying hard to see
If he denies he’s married, which would be
A further cause to chide. But if that man,
That scoundrel Davus, has a further plan
It may well come to nothing, since his tricks
Are useless, and he’ll do his best to fix
The problem, for he’d rather agitate
And stress yours truly than accommodate 200
My son.
Sosia How so?
Simo You jest! A wicked mind,
An evil nature! But if I should find –
No matter! If my son does not delay,
As I would wish, on Chremes I must play
And hope all will be well. Your duty now
Is feigning well these nuptials and to cow
Davus and check upon my son to see
What he is up to and what strategy
He’s planning with him.
Sosia: That’s enough: I’ll do
The tasks. Let’s in.
Simo Go on – I’ll follow you. 210
SCENE II
Simo [to himself]
There is no doubt my son won’t want to wed.
I was aware just now of Davus’ dread
When he heard that the nuptials would not be
Performed. But here he comes.
Davus [to himself]
It bothered me
That this would be the case: and yesterday
I was in constant terror in what way
My master’s leniency would end, for he,
Once he had ascertained his son would be
Without a wife, just did not take it ill
Nor breathed a word to us.
Simo [to himself]
But now he will 220
With no small cost to him, I think he’ll find.
Davus [to himself]
He meant that we, with unsuspecting mind,
Should feel false joy with not a whit of dread,
Now full of hope so that we might be led
To think that there’s no time to hatch a plan
To stop the marriage. Clever!
Simo [to himself]
Wicked man!
What’s that he said?
Davus [to himself]
Oh no, I didn’t see
My master there.
Simo Davus!
Davus Yes.
Simo Come to me!
Davus [to himself]
What does he want?
Simo What did you say?
Davus About
Precisely what?
Simo You rogue! It’s been put out 230
My son’s in love.
Davus Well, other folk concern
Themselves with that, I guess.
Simo Will you not turn
Your mind to this?
Davus Alright.
Simo For me to ask
A question in these matters is the task
Of a strict father. What he’s done before
Is not my business: while he could explore
His youthful interests, I gave some leeway
To him, yet he is different today
With different habits. Hence I supplicate
You, Davus, if it’s fair, to send him straight 240
Back to his proper path.
Davus [to himself]
What can this mean?
Simo All those who love a wench are far from keen
To have a wife given them.
Davus That’s what they say.
Simo A bad guide in such things could steer away
A feeble mind to worse activities
Davus I just don’t get it – my apologies.
Simo You don’t?
Davus I’m Davus, sir, not Oedipus.
Simo You wish me, then, to be more obvious?
Davus I do.
Simo If in this marriage I should see
That you are using some duplicity 250
To bring it to an end, or if your will
Is to show off your skill, then to the mill
I’ll send you to be beaten till you die,
And if I let you go, I promise I
Will take your place. Alright, now do you see?
Or do you need yet more?
Davus It’s perfectly
Explicit - you were never rambling.
Simo I’d rather that in any other thing
Than this you may deceive me.
Davus Hear my plea –
Speak fair words.
Simo Ah, now you’re deriding me. 260
You don’t delude me: don’t be rash. Take care
To heed the warning you’ve just heard. Beware!
SCENE III
Davus [to himself]
No time for sloth or inactivity
Now I’ve found out the old man’s theory
About the marriage. Unless with some skill
It is prevented, everything goes ill
With me or Master. It’s not obvious
What I should do – shall I aid Pamphilus
Or yield to Simo? If I quit the son,
His life’s in danger, but the other one 270
Will threaten me if I should aid him – he
Is hard to deal with. Now, primarily,
He knows of the affair. With hostile glare
He keeps his eyes on me in case I dare
To meddle in the marriage with deceit;
And if he senses it, I’m in defeat.
If he should choose some pretext, rightfully
Or wrongly, he will headlong consign me
To the mill. And furthermore, besides the strife,
This Andria, whether she is a wife 280
Or mistress, having lain with Pamphilus,
Is pregnant; and it’s meritorious
To hear such impudence that one might note
In people in their dotage, not who dote
On their beloved. They’ve resolved to take
The child up and have made a plan to fake
That she’s from Attica: “Previously
An old Attican merchant, wrecked at sea
Off Andros, died there.” They say, furthermore,
That at that time this girl, cast on the shore 290
When just a baby, had been nurtured by
Chrysis’s father. Hah, pie in the sky!
I can’t believe it’s true. This fantasy,
However, they take for reality.
Here’s Mysis. I’m off to the market-place
To have a word with Pamphilus in case
His father should encounter him and shatter
His world in his involvement in this matter.
SCENE IV
Mysis [to Archylis within]
I have already heard you, Archylis:
You want Lesbia here. I’ll tell you this - 300
She’s a rash drunkard, not sufficlently
Worthy to tend a first delivery.
I’ll bring her to you, though. Ah, look at her,
Her inconsiderate fellow-tippler!
May she birth easily. And that one there –
Make sure she does her bungling elsewhere,
You gods! Why’s Pamphilus sad? I fear I know.
I’ll wait to see which way this gloom will go.
SCENE V
Pamphilus [to himself]
Is this humane? Is this a father’s role?
Mysis [to himself]
What does this mean?
Pamphilus [to himself]
What’s this, upon my soul, 310
If not an outrage? Today he’d told me
He’d give a wife to me. But oughtn’t he
Have told me so before?
Mysis[to himself];
Oh God, what’s this?
Pamphilus [to himself]
What’s Chremes up to? He said he’d dismiss
His plans to have his daughter as my wife
Because I have not altered in my life
Although he has, and thus obstinately
He may withdraw Glycerium from me.
If this should happen, I’ll be wholly lost.
Is anyone as wretched and star-crossed 320
In love as I? Oh, by the loyalty
Of gods and men, is there no strategy
To dodge this pact with Chremes? Ah, the ways
That I have been rejected in this haze
Of degradation! All’s been done, and I,
Rejected once, am sought again. And why?
Perhaps they’re rearing some monstrosity,
As I suspect, and thus they turn to me
Since they can’t load her off to anyone
Elsewhere.
Mysis [to himself]
This terrifies me. I am done! 330
Pamphilus [to himself]
But what about my father can I say?
To thoughtlessly determine in this way
Such an important case! He passed by me
Just now down at the forum when, said he,
“Now, Pamphilus, you must be wed today.
Prepare! Go home!” To me he seemed to say,
“Quick! Hang yourself!” Imagine my surprise!
Do you believe that I could verbalize
At all or have even a paltry plea?
I was struck dumb. If someone now asked me 340
What I’d have done if I had fathomed out
The situation, there is not one doubt
I would have done just anything at all
But this. What should I do? Such worries fall
Upon my head that tear my mind apart –
The marriage, my concern for my sweetheart,
Our love, and then the subserviency
To Father, who has been till recently
Indulgent with my moods. Should I contest
My father? I’m unsure of what is best 350
To do.
Mysis [to himself]
I’m dreading how this all will end.
But one thing’s clear – Glycerium must lend
An ear to him or he to me about
Glycerium. For when one is in doubt,
The mind is oscillating to and fro
With every little thing.
Pamphilus [seeing Mysis]
Mysis, hello.
Was that you speaking?
Mysis It was, Pamphilus.
Hello.
Pamphilus How is she?
Mysis Ah, so dolorous!
She’s worried that the wedding is today;
She also fears that you will walk away 360
And leave her.
Pamphilus How could I do such a thing?
I could not bear to see her suffering
Deceit on my account – she gave to me
Her heart and soul, while I especially
Hold her so dear. To have her overthrown
With poverty when she has clearly shown
Her genteel breeding! That I will not do.
Mysis I’d have no fear if it were only you
On whom it rested. But could you hold out
Against compulsion?
Pamphilus Am I so without 370
Humanity that neither modesty
Nor love nor warmth can yet inspire me
To keep my faith?
Mysis Well, there’s one thing I know –
That you should not forget her ever.
Pamphilus Oh,
Forget her? Printed on my memory
Are Chrysis’ words about her. For when she
Was on the point of death, she said, “Come here”:
You maidservants had left, and I drew near.
We were alone, and then she said to me,
“Her beauty and her youthfulness you see. 380
And you’re aware that they will succour you
To guard her property and her virtue.
By this right hand and by your Genius,
Your faith and her forlorn state, Pamphilus,,
Do not desert her, for I’ve cherished you
Like my own brother, and she’s loved you, too,
Above all others, yielding passively
To you in everything. Accordingly,
I give her to you as a husband, friend
And educator. To you I commend 390
My property.” She joined our hands and died
At once. I’ll keep my darling by my side
Always.
Mysis Such is my expectation [starts to leave]
Pamphilus Why
Are you now leaving her?
Mysis I’m off to try
To rouse the midwife.
Pamphilus Quickly, then, and heed
The words I have to say – dismiss the need
To speak about the marriage lest that too
Exacerbates her sickness.
Mysis I hear you.
ACT II
SCENE I
Charinus Byrrhia, shall she be married, then, today
To Pamphilus?
Charinus Indeed that’s what they say. 400
Charinus How do you know?
Charinus I heard the news of late
From Davus at the forum.
Charinus Wretched fate
For me! My mind was mixed with hope and dread,
But now the hope is gone It sinks like lead,
Wearied with care.
Charinus Your hopes are dashed indeed,
So wish for that in which you can succeed.
Charinus I want but Philumena.
Charinus Try to find
A way to drive the lady from your mind
Rather than saying what will fruitlessly
Inflame your lust.
Charinus When we are healthy, we 410
Give good advice to those who are unwell;
If you were I, however, you would tell
A different tale.
Charinus Well, as you wish.
Charinus I spy
Pamphilus: I’d know all before I die
Of grief.
Byrrhia [to himself]
What does he mean?
Charinus I’ll supplicate
The man himself; to him I will relate
My love and beg him that he might delay
The wedding for at least another day
Or so. Meanwhile something may happen.
Charinus No,
It won’t.
Charinus What do you think, then? Should I go 420
And see him?
Charinus Why not? If you don’t succeed,
He will at least have you to serve his need
For a reserve-‘boyfriend’.
Charinus You swine, away
With you for saying such a thing.
Pamphilus Good day,
Charinus.
Charinus Greetings to you, Pamphilus.
I’ve come to speak with you, solicitous
For safety, hope, help and some good advice.
Pamphilus Alas, I don’t have time that will suffice
For those last two. What’s up this time?
Charinus Today
You’re going to get married?
Pamphilus So they say. 430
Charinus Well, if you do you never will see me
Again.
Pamphilus Why?
Charinus I don’t have the bravery
To tell you. Byrrhia, tell him instead.
Charinus I will.
Pamphilus What is it?
Charinus She whom you will wed
Is his beloved.
Pamphilus Ah, we differ thus.
And therefore let me know now, Charinus,
If you’ve had more to do with her.
Charinus Nohow,
Pamphilus.
Pamphilus Well I wish you had.
Charinus But now
I beg you not to marry her.
Pamphilus I’ll do
My best.
Charinus But if you cannot and if you 440
Oppose the rites –
Pamphilus Oppose?
Charinus At least delay
The marriage for a while so that I may
Not be a witness to it.
Pamphilus Listen to me!
I do not think a ma of honesty
Who doesn’t have the right will yet insist
I be obliged to him. I more resist
The marriage than you want to gain it.
Charinus You
Have brought me back to life!
Pamphilus If you can do
Anything – or, Byrrhia, you – concoct, design
Or fabricate that she shall not be mine 450
But marry you.
Charinus I’m satisfied.
Pamphilus I spy
Davus, on whose sound counsel I rely.
Charinus [to Byrrhia]
Say nothing to me but those things which need
No knowing. Leave me now.
Charinus I will indeed.
SCENE II
Davus [to himself]
Great gods, such news! But where am I to find
Pamphilus so that I can rid his mind
Of fear and please him?
Charinus [to Pamphilus]
He is full of glee
About something.
Pamphilus It doesn’t matter: he
Hasn’t yet heard the bad news.
Davus [to himself]
Well, it’s true,
I think, if he has heard the wedding’s due – 460
Charinus [apart]
Don’t you hear him?
Davus [to himself]
He seeks me frantically
Throughout the city. But where can he be?
Where should l find him?
Charinus Do you hesitate
To speak to him?
Davus I’m off.
Pamphilus No, Davus. Wait!
Davus Who’s that? Ah, Pamphilus, you’re just the one
I’m looking for. Charinus, too, well done!
I want you both.
Pamphilus I’ve had it!
Davus No, but hear –
Pamphilus I’m done, I tell you.
Davus I know what you fear.
Pamphilus My life is in great danger.
Davus That, I say,
I know.
Pamphilus My marriage –
Davus Yes, I know.
Pamphilus Today. 470
Davus You keep on drumming it into my ears,
But I’m aware of everything. [indicating Charinus] He fears
That he won’t wed her: on the other hand
You fear you might.
Charinus Yes, yes, you understand.
Pamphilus The very thing.
Davus That very thing you’ll see
Is in no danger: put your faith in me.
Pamphilus As soon as possible, I’m begging you,
Release me from this fear.
Davus That will I do.
For Chremes has agreed that he will stay
His hand and never give his child away 480
To you.
Pamphilus How do you know?
Davus You will know, too:
Your father grabbed me lately, saying you
Would have a wife this very day as well
As many other things that I can’t tell
To you through lack of time. Accordingly
I came straight from the forum hurriedly
To tell you this. Not finding you, then I
Went up a hill to see if I could spy
You from above – I couldn’t. But I caught
Sight of his [indicating Charinus] servant, Byrrhia: I sought 490
From him where you might be, but he told me
He hadn’t seen you. What a mystery!
I wondered what to do. A thought occurred
As I returned, however - hardly a word
Of cheer, a gloomy man, then, suddenly,
A wedding. Here was no coherency.
Pamphilus What are you getting at?
Davus To Chremes’ house
I went, where all was quiet as a mouse
Outside, which made me glad.
Charinus That’s good.
Pamphilus Go on.
Davus I stopped there. In the meantime I saw none 500
Go in or out, saw no activity,
Helpers or trimmings. I went up to see
Inside.
Pamphilus Of course – a goodly sign.
Davus Do these
Things tally with nuptial festivities?
Pamphilus I think not.
Davus “Think”? Oh no, you’ve got it wrong –
It’s certain. Then a slave-boy came along
As I was leaving, bearing some small fish
And veggies, worth one obol, as a dish
For Chremes’ dinner.
Charinus Davus, I am free
Thanks to your work.
Davus Not so.
Charinus What? Surely he 510
Won’t give his child to him [indicating Pamphilus] now?
Davus Silly man!
As if since he won’t have the girl, you can!
Court Chremes’ friends.
Pamphilus Well said. I’ll go, though I
Have many times felt desperate. Goodbye.
SCENE III
Pamphilus What’s with my father? Why this masquerade?
Davus I’ll tell you. If your father had been made
Angry with you because Chremes denied
His daughter to be given as your bride,
He’d think himself unjust, and rightly too,
Because he hadn’t first found out from you 520
Your views about the marriage. Blame instead
He’d put on you if you refuse to wed:
Thus troubles would arise.
Pamphilus I will submit
To anything.
Davus He is your dad, so it
Is difficult: she’s helpless. He’ll track down
Some pretext that will drive her out of town
In short shrift.
Pamphilus Drive her out - ?
Davus;
And quickly, too.
Pamphilus So, Davus, tell me - what am I to do?
Davus Say you’ll wed her.
Pamphilus Hah!
Davus What?
Pamphilus Must I say so?
Davus Why not?
Pamphilus No, I won’t do it.
Davus Don’t say no. 530
Pamphilus Don’t try to sway me.
Davus Think what would ensue.
Pamphilus I’d lose her, lumbered with the other, too.
Davus Not so. I think your dad will try to say
That you will have to marry her today.
Say what you will, and thus your quarrelling
Is over. In this manner everything
That’s been arranged shall be in disarray.
For it is clear Chremes won’t give away
His child to you, and therefore you’ll be free
From danger. Keep on with this plan lest he 540
Should change his mind. Your father can’t be mad
At you if you consent; the hopes you had
I’ll easily refute. For no-one can
Be asked to give his child to any man
Of such proclivities; he’d rather give
A beggar to you as a wife than live
In shame of your corruption. But if he
Should take the news with equanimity,
He’ll treat the matter with more nonchalance
And leisurely seek another. Then by chance 550
Something of good may happen.
Pamphilus Is that true,
You think?
Davus No doubt.
Pamphilus Think what you’d have me do.
Davus Be quiet!
Pamphilus No. We must take care that he
Won’t find out that she’s had a child by me.
I said I’d bring it up.
Davus A big mistake!
Pamphilus She made me vow that I would not forsake
Them both.
Davus I’ll see to it. Your father’s here.
See that he doesn’t spot your lack of cheer.
SCENE IV
Simo [to himself]
I’m back to see what they are both about
And what they’re hatching.
Davus He has not one doubt 560
That you’ll refuse to wed her. He has thought
The matter through and hither has he brought
Himself from some dark spot: and he relies
On some speech that he’s made up to surprise
And fluster you. Take care! Act naturally!
Pamphilus I hope I can.
Davus Just put your faith in me.
Between you two not one word will be said
As long as you agree you will be wed.
SCENE V
Byrrhia [to himself]
My master bade me leave my work today
And monitor Pamphilus that I may 570
Know what he’s doing about the rites, and so
I’ve followed him [indicating Simo] and there he is – Simo –
With Davus: I’ll note that.
Simo Both here, I see.
Davus [to Pamphilus]
Watch out!
Simo Son!
Davus [to Pamphilus]
As if unexpectedly
Taken aback, face him.
Pamphilus Father!
Davus [to Pamphilus]
Well done!
Simo I want you to be wed today, my son.
As I have said.
Charinus I dread what he will say.
Pamphilus In nothing will you see that I delay.
Byrrhia [to himself]
Hah!
Davus [to Pamphilus]
He’s struck dumb.
Charinus Oh, how extraordinary!
Simo My son, you’ve acted so appropriately 580
In giving me my wish with graciousness.
Davus [to Pamphilus]
Was I not right?
Charinus Oh dear, as I may guess,
My master’s lost a wife.
Simo Go in, and be
Prepared when there is a necessity.
Pamphilus I go.
Byrrhia [to himself]
Don’t put your trust in any man.
All folk would rather serve their own needs than
Another’s – that’s well said. I’ve seen the lass
And I recall her beauty, so I’ll pass
On blaming Pamphilus should he prefer
That in his dreams he’ll be embracing her, 590
And not Charinus. Therefore back I’ll go
And for these evils suffer blow for blow.
SCENE VI
Davus [to himself]
He thinks I’ve brought some trickery and thus
Have I remained here.
Simo What says he, Davus?
Davus Nothing.
Simo What? Nothing?
Davus Not a single thing.
Simo Well, I was certainly imagining
That there’d be something.
Davus Everything’s turned out
Against your expectations. [to himself] There’s no doubt
That he’s disquieted.
Simo Can you tell me
The truth?
Davus I can do so quite easily. 600
Simo These nuptials don’t vex him in any way
Due to this foreign girl?
Davus I have to say
No, not at all. Or, even if they do,
He will recover in a day or two.
Besides, he’s thought it over properly.
Simo Good lad!
Davus When he had licence for it, he
Would sow his oats as youths are apt to do.
But it was secretly. And he took due
Precaution in case any infamy
Stuck to him, as a man of honesty 610
Will do. Now he must marry, he has set
His mind upon the girl he’ll wed.
Simo And yet
He seemed unhappy in some slight degree.
Davus Ah, not because of her, but rather he
Is angry with you.
Simo Why?
Davus It’s trifling.
Simo But what?
Davus Ah, nothing.
Simo What?
Davus Well, here’s the thing –
He says the preparations you have made
Are sparse.
Simo They’re sparse?
Davus Yes. He says you have laid
Ten drachmas out, no more than that, to feed
The guests. He says, “Is this a father’s deed 620
In marrying his son? And now, of all
My young companions, whom shall I call
To such a feast?” For your frugality,
It must be stated, is too much for me.
Simo Shut up!
Davus [to himself]
Take that!
Simo Now I’ll be very keen
That all’s in order. What’s the old rogue mean?
For if there’s anything unpromising
In this, one can be sure that he’s its spring.
ACT III
SCENE I
Mysis [not seeing Simo and Davus]
Lesbia, it’s right what I’ve just heard from you
That you can hardly find a man who’s true. 630
Simo [apart, to Davus]
This maid comes from the Andrian.
Davus [apart, to Simo]
Is it thus?
Simo [apart, to Davus]
Indeed it is.
Mysis And yet this Pamphilus –
Simo What does she say?
Mysis Has proved his constancy.
Simo [to himself]
Oh no!
Davus [to himself]
I wish that he were deaf or she
Struck dumb.
Mysis The child that she’s about to bear
He has announced that with paternal care
He’ll rear.
Simo Oh God! What is this that I’ve heard?
Well, all is lost if we can trust her word.
Lesbia You tell us of the youth’s morality.
Mysis I do indeed. Let’s go in. Follow me 640
Lest she’s kept waiting.
Lesbia Right.
Davus I have to know
How I can find a remedy for this blow.
Simo What’s this I hear? The lad is quite beguiled.
Beguiled about a foreign person’s child!
I see it now! In my stupidity
I have discovered all eventually.
Davus [to himself]
What could that be?
Simo [to himself]
This piece of knavery
Is for the first time foisted off on me.
They feign that she’s in labour so that they
May frighten Chremes.
Glycerium [from within]
Lucina, I pray, 650
Help me!
Simo So sudden? That is so absurd.
She’s bustling about because she heard
Me at the door. Davus, unhappily
For you, your points of time are off.
Davus What, me?
Simo You teach your student badly in this bout
Of subterfuge.
Davus What are you on about?
Simo If at the actual wedding of my son
He’d taken me off-guard, what lovely fun
He’d have at my expense. Now he must face
The danger; I am in a safer place. 660
SCENE II
Lesbia [at the door]
Archylis, I perceive the customary
Symptoms that would aid her recovery,
So let her bathe, and then administer
Just the amount that I prescribed for her
Of fluid. I’ll be back soon. Oh, such joy!
For Pamphilus has sired a splendid boy.
I pray he will survive, for Pamphilus
Himself is honourable and virtuous.
He hesitated to cause injury
To this fine, youthful lady.
Simo [to Davus]
Who can’t see 670
That all this came from you?
Davus What?
Simo When within
She gave no orders for a lying-in.
To those inside, though, when she came out here
Into the street she bawled out loud and clear.
Oh, Davus, how could I be so imposed
Upon by you? Do I seem so disposed
To trust such knavery? But anyway
I should have seemed to be full of dismay
If I had known it.
Davus [to himself]
It’s not I but he
Who’s been deceived.
Simo Were you, then, scared of me 680
When I warned you with threats? What then took place?
Yes, go on, tell me, look into my face
And say the Andrian has borne a child
To Pamphilus.
Davus [to himself]
I know how he’s beguiled,
So I must see to it.
Simo Why are you mum?
Davus As though you didn’t know that day would come!
What would you credit?
Simo Did someone tell me?
Davus Come on now, tell me, did you willingly
Think it a hoax?
Simo You laugh at me!
Davus The news
Was brought you: else how could you sniff a ruse? 690
Simo Because I knew you!
Davus You’re implying, though,
That I contrived it.
Simo That I clearly know.
Davus You do not know me well.
Simo I don’t?
Davus If I
Begin to speak to you, you say I lie.
I dare not whisper now.
Simo One thing is clear
To me – no baby was delivered here.
Davus You found that out? But soon enough they’ll lay
A child before this door. Once more I say
That this will happen: thus you’ll be aware
Of it. But don’t go saying this affair 700
Has been contrived by any strategy
Of mine, removing your dubiety
Of me.
Simo How do you know this?
Simo I confess
I heard it and believe it, too: my guess
Is formed by many things. She said that she
Was pregnant, but it was a fantasy.
When she heard wedding preparations were
Being made chez nous, a maid was sent by her
Immediately to fetch the midwife, who
Should bring a child. And if you may not view
The child, the wedding’s off.
Simo What? When you’d heard
About the plan, why say no single word
About it to my son immediately?
Davus Who else got him to leave the girl but me?
How desperately he loved her we all knew,
And now he seeks to wed the lady, too.
Let me take up this duty, but progress
With wedding preparations nonetheless:
Godspeed to them! Go in and wait for me,
And do what must be done. [exit Davus]
Simo: Not totally 720
Do I believe all this. Could it be so?
I am not sure. It matters little, though,
Because the most important thing to me
Is that my son gave me his guarantee.
I’ll go to Chremes, hoping to persuade
Him to allow my son to wed the maid:
If I obtain his word, what other day
Is there to have this wedding but today?
I’m sure that, since my son gave me his vow,
If he should balk I’ll pressure him somehow 730
To marry her. But who is this I see?
It’s Chremes coming here propitiously.
SCENE III
Simo Chremes, hello.
Chremes The very man I came
To have a word with.
Simo I could say the same.
Chremes How opportune! Some folk came here to say
That they had heard my daughter would today
Marry your son, and I would like to see
If you or they are mad.
Simo Listen to me:
Briefly you’ll know what I require of you
And what you seek.
Chremes I’m all ears: go on, do. 740
Simo Well, by the gods and by our amity
Which grew from boyhood to maturity,
And by your only daughter and my son
(Whose guardian you are – the only one),
I beg that you aid me in this affair
And see the wedding through.
Chremes Oh, don’t you dare
Beg me! As if it were obligatory!
You think I’m different from formerly
When I gave her away? Go, send ahead
That she should come here if they are to wed. 750
But if there is more harm in this affair
Than good for each, I beg you to take care
To think about their common good, as though
She were your daughter, he my son.
Simo And so
Do I intend. I’d not ask it of you
If it weren’t necessary.
Chremes What’s to do?
Simo Glycerium and he have had a fight.
Chremes Oh yes?
Simo So great that I have hopes it might
Part them.
Chremes Nonsense!
Simo It’s true.
Chremes Let me tell you
That lovers’ fights occasion love anew. 760
Simo Well, while time gives us opportunity
And while his lust’s blocked by controversy,
Before a woman’s wicked craftiness
Converts his sickly mind to tenderness,
Let’s give her to him. Thus I hope that he,
By honest marriage and intimacy,
Will dodge these evils easily.
Chremes So you
Believe! But I don’t think he will be true
To her or I’ll be able to endure
The outcome.
Simo But how can you be so sure 770
If you don’t set a test?
Chremes Tests would oppress
A maiden.
Simo Look, all of the awkwardness
Amounts to this – they would (the gods forfend!)
Go separate ways. But if he should amend
His ways, think of the gains that there would be –
For you would have restored my son to me,
You’d have a son-in-law and thus present
A husband to your child.
Chremes Are you content?
If you are satisfied, I won’t deny
You anything.
Simo With reason, too, for I 780
Look on you as a true friend.
Chremes How do you - ?
Simo What?
Chremes Know that there’s discord between those two?
Simo Davus, who knows the plans they’ve made, told me.
He urges me as soon as it may be
To have the wedding. Do you think he’d do
A thing like that unless he really knew
My son yearned for it? You’ll know without doubt.
Call Davus! Ah, he’s there. He’s coming out.
SCENE IV
I was just coming here.
Simo Why? What’s to do?
Davus It’s late. Why wasn’t the bride called?
Simo Hey, do you 790
Hear me? For some time now I’ve felt that you,
Like those of the common servant class, Might do
Some great disservice by oppressing me
Because my son’s in love.
Davus What? Honestly?
Simo I thought so, yes. So I concealed, through fear,
What I shall tell you now.
Davus What?
Simo You shall hear.
I almost trust you now.
Davus So finally
You’ve found out my authentic quality?
Simo The wedding was nt ever to take place.
Davus No?
Simo So I put on a deceitful face 800
To test you.
Davus What?
Simo It’s true.
Davus But can’t you see
I never noticed. What a strategy!
Simo But as I gave you orders to go hither
Inside, then Chremes happily came hither.
Davus [to himself]
We’re done for, then.
Simo I told him what you said
To me.
Davus [to himself]
What next?!
Simo And then I went ahead,
Entreating him to give to Pamphilus
His daughter. It was very arduous
But I prevailed.
Davus [to himself]
I’m done!
Simo What did you say?
Davus I said,” Well done.”
Simo He must not now delay. 810
Charinues;
I’ll go in to the house and tell them they
Must make all ready and come back.
Simo I pray,
Davus, since it was you who saw that we
Would have a wedding –
Davus Truly!
Simo See that he
Reforms his ways.
Davus Well, I will do my best.
Simo Right now, though, while his mind’s still in unrest.
Davus Don’t fret.
Simo Where is he?
Davus He must be inside.
Simo I’ll go to him and say to him what I’d
Told you.
Davus [to himself]
I’m lost. Why shouldn’t I, right now,
Go to the mill? There is no room nohow 820
For supplicating since I’ve made a mess
Of everything: my master, I confess,
I have inveigled, casting forth his son
Into a marriage. What else have I done?
The wedding is today, and Pamphilus
Is an unwilling groom. Ingenious
Indeed! If I’d kept mum, no tragedy
Would have occurred. But who comes here? It’s he!
I’m doomed. I would there were some precipice
Whence I might fall, eluding all of this. 830
SCENE V
Pamphilus Where is he who caused me such tragedy?
Davus [to himself]
I’m done for.
Pamphilus I confess that honestly
He did me in since I’m devoid of wit.
Why should I trust my fate to such a twit,
A stupid slave? And so I have to pay
The price. But he will never get away
With this.
Davus [to himself]
If I avoid this ill, I’ll stay
Secure, I know.
Pamphilus But what am I to say
To Dad? Shall I deny I wish to be
Married to her despite my guarantee? 840
Such brazenness to treat my father so
By saying such a thing! I hardly know
What I should do.
Davus [to himself]
Nor I, but I’ll essay
To find a remedy. Ah, I shall say
I’ll find some respite.
Pamphilus Ah!
Davus [to himself]
I’m busted now.
Pamphilus Hah what are you about? Do you see how
Your tricks have hampered me?
Davus I’ll free you.
Pamphilus Oh,
You’ll free me?
Davus: Yes.
Pamphilus As you’ve just done?
Davus Oh no,
I hope much better.
Pamphilus How can I depend
On you, you rogue? You’re planning to emend 850
What’s wholly finished me? Rely on you,
Who from a very blithe existence threw
Me into marriage? Did I not foretell
This outcome?
Davus Yes indeed, you did, sir.
Pamphilus Well,
How should I punish you?
Davus The cross. But let
Me have a little time – I’ll save you yet.
Pamphilus Alas, I have no time to punish you
In the same way that I now yearn to do.
For I am forced by this predicament
To save myself, postponing punishment. 860
ACT IV
SCENE I
Charinus [to himself]
Could one believe a man could be so mean
As to find happiness when he has seen
Another in misfortune? Can this be
The truth? The most malicious man is he
Who barely takes the time to make delay
When he refuses, but when comes the day
To live up to his vow, he feels the need
Through fear to find himself, and then indeed
It’s ‘thumbs-down’. He’s full of effrontery
And says, “Who are you? What are you to me? 870
Look here, my needs come first.” And should you claim
He should be principled, he feels no shame;
When there is need, he’s cool; when there is not,
He’s filled full of anxiety. But what
Am I to do about all this? Defy
The man for what he’s done to me? Should I
Heap insults on him? One might say to me,
“He won’t be moved.” But I will certainly
Have vexed him and showed how I feel.
Pamphilus A mess
I’ve made, Charinus, of us both, unless 880
The gods are kind. It wasn’t my intent.
Charinus It wasn’t, eh? At last, though, you invent
An explanation. But you broke your vow.
Pamphilus How so?
Charinus Will you yet dupe me even now?
Pamphilus What’s this?
Charinus I told you of my ardency
And now you show your partiality
With her I love.
Pamphilus You’re wrong.
Charinus Was your elation
Not great enough unless with provocation
You mocked me in my love and led me on
With spurious hope? Well, take her and begone! 890
Pamphilus
Take her? You do not know how wretchedly
I am assailed with dreadful misery;
You do not know all the anxieties
My murderer [indicating Davus] has with his trickeries
Brought me.
Charinus It’s no surprise – he’s your ideal!
Pamphilus You’d not say that if you knew how I feel
About her.
Charinus Well, I do know, for of late
You argued with your father. He’s irate
Because he is unable to convince
You to wed her.
Pamphilus You are in error, since 900
You’re not aware of my great misery;
The wedding has not been prepared for me,
And no-one wants to offer me a bride.
Charinus Yes, your own inclination’s been your guide.
Pamphilus Hold on – you don’t know everything.
Charinus I know
You plan to marry her.
Pamphilus Why wound me so?
Listen: he kept insisting that I tell
My father that I’d marry her. So well
Did he entreat me that eventually
I caved.
Charinus Who did?
Pamphilus Davus.
Charinus Davus?
Pamphilus Yes, he. 910
Pamphilus He caused confusion.
Charinus Why, though?
Pamphilus Well, unless
The gods deplore my ingenuousness
In listening to him, I don’t have a clue.
Charinus Is this true, Davus?
Davus Yes.
Charinus You, villain, you!
Ah, may the gods destroy you in a way
That fits your actions! Tell me, then, I pray,
If all his enemies wished him to wed,
What better plan than this, eh?
Davus I was led
Into deception but I’m hopeful still.
Charinus I’m sure of that!
Davus: This plan ended in ill 920
But I’ll try something else. Unless, maybe,
Since my first plan came off unhappily,
You think that victory cannot ensue.
Pamphilus Oh no: I am persuaded that, if you
Are careful, you’ll effect not one but two
Marriages.
Davus Pamphilus, it is my due
To serve you, hands and feet each day and night,
Risking my very life. I think it right
That if something should turn out differently
From what you hoped for, you should pardon me. 930
I failed but I’ll keep struggling even so.
Find something better or tell me to go.
Pamphilus Then take me back to where I was before.
Davus I will.
Pamphilus Directly, though.
Davus But wait! Her door
Is creaking.
Pamphilus You’ll deal with it easily.
Davus I think –
Pamphilus What now?
Davus I’ll tell you presently.
SCENE II
Mysis [to Glycerium within]
Wherever he is, I will track down your beau
And bring him here. But do not worry so.
Pamphilus Mysis.
Mysis What - ? Pamphilus! How luckily
We meet!
Pamphilus What is it?
Mysis Mistress ordered me 940
That, if you love her, you should straightway go
To her – she wants to see you now.
Pamphilus [to himself]
Oh no,
I’m done for! It gets worse. [to Davus] Because of you
Both she and I are now in such a stew.
She’s calling for me since she seems to know
That wedding plans are clearly on the go.
Charinus We could have had a break quite easily
If he had shut his mouth.
Davus [sarcastically]
If he should be
Not piqued enough, then make him madder still!
Mysis Well, that’s the case: she makes herself quite ill. 950
Pamphilus Mysis, I’ll never leave her: this I swear
Even if I found out all men everywhere
Would be my enemies. I chose her – she
Is mine, for we’re in perfect harmony.
Curse those who’d have us part! For only death
Will take her from me at our final breath.
Mysis I’m feeling better now.
Pamphilus I say that all
I’ve said is truer than the words that fall
From Phoebus’ lips. If someone can contrive
To prove my father does not think that I’ve 960
Ended the marriage, I would like to see
That done. But if none can, I’ll easily
Prove that It was through me. What is the view
You have of me, then?
Charinus I believe that you
Are just as glum as I.
Davus I have a plan.
Charinus Aha, you are indeed a clever man.
Pamphilus What is it?
Davus I will sort it out for you.
Pamphilus There’s need.
Davus I have it now.
Charinus What will you do?
Davus [pointing out Pamphilus]
For him, not you.
Charinus Alright.
Pamphilus Well?
Davus I’m afraid
One day’s too short to render you my aid. 970
I have no time to tell it you. So go
Away directly, for you’d only slow
Me down.
Pamphilus I’ll visit her [exit]
Davus What will you do?
Where are you going now?
Charinus Shall I tell you
The truth?
Davus: No, not at all. [aside] Too long!
Charinus But what
Will be my fate?
Davus Madman, have you not got
Some breathing-space through me and can defer
The marriage?
Charinus But –
Davus What?
Charinus That I marry her –
Davus Ridiculous!
Charinus If you can promise me
Some help, come to my house.
Davus How can that be? 980
I’ve nothing.
Charinus Anything!
Davus Alright, alright,
I’ll come.
Charinus I’ll be at home.
Davus Mysis, sit tight
A little till I come out.
Mysis Why?
Davus There’s need.
Mysis Quickly!
Davus I will return with all due speed. [exit]
SCENE III
Mysis [to herself]
No-one is safe. I thought until this day
That Pamphilus had been a nonpareil
For Mistress – lover, friend, a man who’s right
In every way. Now she’s a wretched sight
Because of him, more full of misery
Than she was full of happiness formerly.
[Enter Davus] Here’s Davus. My good sir, what’s up? And why
Is there a small boy in your arms?
Davus Well, I 990
Require your cleverness immediately.
Mysis What will you do?
Davus Quick! Take the lad from me.
Lay him before our door.
Mysis What’s that you say?
Upon the ground?
Davus Indeed. Then make your way
Hence to the altar there and hither bring
Some sacred herbs, finally scattering
Them underneath the child.
Mysis Well, why don’t you?
Davus Well, if I had to swear I didn’t do
The deed to Master, I’d be conscience-free.
Mysis I understand. Did you just recently 1000
Acquire these scruples?
Davus Quick, that you may hear
What I’ll do next. Oh God!
Mysis What’s up?
Davus Oh dear,
Her father, interrupting everything!
The plan I had I’m now abandoning.
Mysis What are you on about?
Davus I will pretend
That I’ve come from the right.
You, then, must lend
Your aid when it is wanted.
Mysis I’m aware
Of nothing that you’ve said but if you care
To have my help whenever it is needed
I’ll stay in case the outcome is impeded. 1010
SCENE IV
Chremes [to himself]
I’ve made arrangements for the wedding-day
And now I’m coming back so that I may
Request her presence here. What’s this I see?
Why, it’s a child. [to Mysis] Woman, enlighten me –
Tell me why you have laid a baby there?
Mysis Where is he?
Chremes Why don’t you reply?
Mysis Nowhere
That I can see. He’s left me here and gone.
Davus [pretending not to see Chremes and Mysis]. The forum’s full. Oh, what a carry-on! 1020
The bargaining! [aloud] The victuals are so dear.
[Aside] I do not know what more to say.
Mysis Come here,
Why did you leave me all alone?
Davus [seeing the child]
Hello,
What happened here? Now, Mysis, do you know
Who brought this baby here?
Mysis You’re asking me?
You must be mad.
Davus There no-one else I see,
So who else should I ask?
Chremes [to himself]
I wonder, too,
Who brought it.
Davus Tell me what I’m asking you.
[Whispering] Step to the right [she does]
Mysis This is insanity!
You brought the child.
Davus Say not a word to me 1030
Other than what I ask you.
Mysis Is it fair
That you are saying this?
Davus Just tell me where
It came from – loudly!
Mysis From our house.
Davus I see!
The action of a whore!
Chremes [to himself]
Then she must be
The Andrian’s maid.
Davus Do you believe we’d play
Such tricks?
Chremes [to himself]
I’m just in time.
Davus Take it away!
[Whispering] Just stay right there and do not leave this spot.
Mysis You scare me so!
Davus Well, is it you or not
I’m asking?
Mysis What is it you want?
Davus Are you
Asking me that? I want to find out who 1040
Is parent to this child you brought. Tell me
The truth.
Mysis What? You don’t know?
Davus To purgatory
With what I know! Tell me! Be serious!
Mysis It’s one of yours.
Davus Which of them?
Mysis Pamphilus.
Davus Oh no!
Chremes [to himself]
It’s with good reason, palpably,
That I opposed the match.
Davus Such devilry!
Mysis Why are you bawling?
Davus It’s the very same
Brought by someone I noticed when they came
Just yesterday to the house, quite late at night.
Mysis Oh, such a bold-faced fellow!
Davus Yes, that’s right. 1050
I saw Canthara stuffed sufficiently
With pillows.
Mysis I thank God that we could see,
Free women at the birth.
Davus [aloud]
She does not know
On whose account these schemes were made, and so,
If Chremes had not seen the baby laid
Out here, she thinks he will not give the maid
To Pamphilus. But on the contrary
He’ll give yet more.
Chremes [to himself]
No! It’s a certainty
He won’t.
Davus Take up the baby from the door
Or I’ll roll it into the road; what’s more, 1060
I’ll roll you, too, and cover you with grime.
Mysis You’re drunk.
Davus One scheme upon another! I’m
Told she’s a citizen.
Chremes Oh, gracious me!
Davus So legally they must be wed.
Mysis Is she
A citizen?
Chremes [to himself]
It seems that unawares
I near fell in the weirdest of affairs.
Davus Who’s that? Ah, Chremes, how timely we meet!
Listen.
Chremes I know all.
Davus All?
Chremes All, I repeat,
Right from the start.
Davus Listen, I pray, to me:
This wench for her egregious villainy 1070
Should be put to the rack. [to Mysis] Here is Chremes:
It’s not just me on whom your trickeries
Are played.
Mysis Good sir, I have not said one thing
To you that’s false.
Chremes I now know everything.
Is Sino in?
Davus He is.
Mysis [to Davus]
Don’t dare touch me,
You reprobate! I tell you honestly,
If I don’t tell Glycerium –
Davus Come now,
Don’t you know what’s been going on?
Mysis Well, how
Should I?
Davus Here comes her dad. There was no way
But telling him what he wished us to say. 1080
Mysis You should have said so.
Davus Is it, then, your view
That it counts little whether you should do
A thing as Nature prompts you to or be
Committed to a thought-out strategy?
SCENE V
Crito In this street once lived Chrysis, so they say,
Piling up wealth in a dishonest way
Rather than living poor but honestly.
She died and all her property came to me
By law. But now I spy some people here
Whom I would question. [accosting them] I wish you good cheer. 1090
Mysis Who’s that? Is Chrysis’ cousin here – Crito?
He is.
Crito Good morning, Mysis.
Mysis Ah, hello,
Crito.
Crito Is Chrysis, then - ?
Mysis Indeed it’s true.
She left us broken-hearted.
Crito How are you?
Doing well?
Mysis ‘Well as we can’, as people say,
Since we can’t really flourish as we may.
Crito And what about Glycerium? Has she
Now found her parents?
Mysis No, unfortunately.
I wish she had.
Crito Not yet? Then I set out
With no auspicious omen. There’s no doubt 1100
I’d not have come here had I been aware
Of that. For every day and everywhere
Folk knew her as her sister, and now she
Has all her things. It has been told to me
That, as a stranger, I could now with ease
Take her to court, as others’ instances
Have shown. I think, though, there’s a man who’s known
To be her friend and patron, for she’d grown
Somewhat when she left there. Folk would call me
A trickster, ferreting out a legacy. 1110
But it’s not right to fleece the girl, I fear.
Mysis Oh, what a worthy stranger! You adhere
To your old-fashioned ways.
Crito I wish to see
The girl, so lead me to her.
Mysis Certainly.
Davus [to himself]
I’ll follow, since I have no appetite
Right now to be within the old man’s sight.
ACT V
SCENE I
Chremes Our friendship has been proved sufficiently
Already, Simo, but just recently
I’ve met sufficient hazards: therefore end
Your pleas. I’ve always tried to be your friend, 1120
But my child’s life I’ve almost fooled away.
Simo But now especially I beg and pray
That you make true your offer.
Chremes Can’t you see
That with your zeal you show your villainy?
As long as you get what you would possess,
You don’t think of the bounds of graciousness
Or what you ask of me. If you did so,
You would forbear to burden me with woe.
Simo What woe?
Chremes You ask me that? You badgered me
To give my promise that my child would be 1130
Wed to a youth who’s having an affair
With someone else and never had a care
To marry: it would lead to feuds and end
Quite prematurely but I just might mend
Your son’s bad ways. You gained your victory,
So, since conditions seemed alright to me,
I started preparations. But you’ll find
You must accept that I have changed my mind.
She is a citizen, as people say,
A child was born, so now just go away. 1140
Simo I beg you, don’t trust those whose interest
Is that he should be vilified as best
As possible. Due to the marriage, all
Of this has been contrived; their case will fall
When all’s removed.
Chremes You’re misinterpreting
The matter, for I caught a wrangling
Between Davus and Mysis.
Simo I’m aware
Of that!
Chremes And neither knew that I was there,
And so to me they both seemed serious.
Simo I think that’s true, and recently Davus 1150
Told me it would be so. I meant today
To tell you but that purpose slipped away.
SCENE II
Davus [to himself]
Stay calm!
Chremes There’s Chremes.
Simo Whence?
Davus [to himself]
It’s due to me
And the stranger –
Simo [to himself]
What prank’s this?
Davus I never did dee
More fitting circumstances – meeting, man
And time, all three together.
Simo Ah who can
He now be praising?
Davus [to himself]
All’s well.
Simo [to himself]
Why do you
Not speak to him?
Davus [to himself, seeing Simo]
Master!! What should I do?
Simo Good sir, good day to you.
Davus Simo, good day.
Ah, Chremes! Everything is underway 1160
Indoors.
Simo [sarcastically]
You’re well prepared!
Davus Then at your need
Send for the bride.
Simo That’s one thing left indeed.
But tell me this – what is it you must do
Within?
Davus What? I?
Simo Yes.
Davus I?
Simo Yes, dammit, you!
Davus I went in now.
Simo I didn’t ask you when!
Davus Your son is there with her.
Simo Is Pamphilus, then,
Within? [aside] I’m on the rack! [to Davus] Did you not say
That they’re at loggerheads?
Davus Yes, that are they.
Simo Then why’s he there?
Chremes To quarrel, obviously.
Davus However, Chremes, you shall hear from me 1170
About a vile and shameful incident.
I met an old man, shrewd and confident.
To look at him, you’d think him well-to-do.
His looks were grave, and when he spoke to you
His words had depth.
Simo What are getting at?
Davus Nothing but what he mentioned in our chat.
Simo What was it, then?
Davus He told me that he knew
Glycerium is a citizen.
Simo [going to the door]
Hey, you!
Dromo!
Davus What is it?
Simo Dromo!
Davus Let me say –
Simo Not one word! Dromo!
Davus Listen to me, I pray. 1180
Dromo Yes?
Simo Take this man inside, quick as you can.
Dromo Who?
Simo Davus.
Dromo Why?
Simo Because I choose to, man.
Davus What did I do?
Simo Take him!
Davus If you should be
Informed that I have lied at all, kill me.
Simo I’ll close my ears. The mill will welcome you
Right now.
Davus What? Even if it all is true?
Simo Yes. Take care he is well secured and tie
Him hand and foot. Be off with you! Now I
Will show you, if I live, this very day
How dangerous it is for you to play 1190
Your master for a fool and for him, too,
To fool his father.
Chremes Ah, I beg of you,
Calm down a bit.
Simo Chremes, the piety
That sons should have! Do you not pity me
For having such a son? Oh, Pamphilus,
Come out! How could you be so scandalous?
SCENE III
Pamphilus Who wants me? [aside] Father! Now I’m in for it!
Simo Of all - !
Chremes Address the subject and omit
Harsh words!
Simo Could anything be more severe
To say to him? And what is this I hear? 1200
The girl’s a citizen?
Chremes They say that’s true.
Simo And you believe them? Does he really rue
His deeds? Does he consider what he’s said?
And have his cheeks displayed a shameful red
Ever? With sickly mind he would repel
The city’s laws and customs and rebel
Against his father, so excessively
Keen to have her. Such notoriety!
Pamphilus I’ve had it!
Simo Is it only now you find
Those words? Long past, when you’d made up your mind 1210
To have that girl at any price, that day
They fit you like a glove. But what’s to say?
Why crucify myself and thus distress
My old age with this rascal’s craziness?
Am I to suffer for his villainy?
No way! Good luck to him and let him be
Her spouse.
Pamphilus Dad –
Simo Dad? As if you needed one!
House, wife and children – everything’s been done
Without your dad’s permission. You’ve forked out
Money to folk to say that there’s no doubt 1220
That she’s a citizen. You’ve won your case.
Pamphilus A few words, father, please!
Simo What, to my face?
Chremes Listen, Simo.
Simo What? Listen to him? But why?
Chremes Just let him speak.
Simo Alright.
Pamphilus I own that I
Love her. If that’s a fault, I own that, too.
But, father, I subject myself to you.
Give orders for what punishment you choose.
Do you want me to marry and to lose
Glycerium? With what ability
I have I’ll bear it. But take this from me – 1230
I did not bribe the old man. Let me clear
Myself, and to that end have him brought here.
Simo Here?
Pamphilus Father, please!
Chremes A reasonable request.
Allow him.
Pamphilus Tell a servant your behest.
Simo Alright – if I know he’s not hoodwinked me.
Chremes A son’s great crime earns a slight penalty.
SCENE IV
Crito [to Pamphilus]
No begging! Of these reasons any one
Prompts me to do it, for it must be done
Either for you yourself or since it’s true
Or since I’m very passionate to do
Well by Glycerium.
Chremes Why, do I see
Crito of Andros? That’s him certainly.
Crito Greetings, Chremes.
Chremes It’s very rare that you
Come to our city.
Crito Well, sometimes I do.
Is that Simo?
Chremes Yes.
Simo Were you seeking me?
Glycerium’s a citizen? Seriously?
Crito Do you deny it?
Simo Well prepared, aren’t you?
Crito To do what?
Simo Really, do you plan to do
This with impunity? Is it your way
To seek green, well-bred youths and then to play 1250
Upon their fancies, giving guarantees
And promises that lead to trickeries?
Crito Are you insane?
Simo Inveigling men to wed
Street-walkers?
Pamphilus [to himself]
Now I’ve had it. I’m in dread
The stranger won’t put up with this.
Chremes Simo,
If you knew this man well, you’d not think so.
He is a worthy man.
Simo Worthy? What, he?
Today he came here so conveniently
To see the wedding he’s arranged, although
He’s not been here before, and even so 1260
You still believe him.
Pamphilus [to himself]
If I didn’t fear
My father, I’d have something fitting here
To tell him.
Simo Swindler!
Crito What did he just say?
Chremes Please, Crito, let it go: it’s just his way.
Crito Well, let him mind his words. If he churns out
What he desires to hear, beyond a doubt
He’ll hear a different tune. Do you believe
That knowingly I’m trying to deceive
Or acting for myself? Can you not take
This nonsense calmly? Whether it is fake 1270
Or true, what you have told me will be known
Presently. Once an Attican was thrown
Into the sea, shipwrecked, and, by his side,
A little girl. In poverty he applied
To Chrysis’ father –
Simo Hear the man begin
His tale!
Chremes Be quiet!
Crito Why do you butt in?
Chremes Proceed.
Crito He was part of my family:
The man was Attican, he said to me.
He died on Andros.
Chremes And his name?
Crito Why so
Impatient for his name?
Pamphilus Phania.
Chremes Oh no! 1280
I’m done for!
Crito Yes, I’m pretty sure her name
Was Phania. I do know he said he came
From Rhamnus.
Chremes Ahh!
Crito This was disseminated
Throughout the isle.
Chremes What I’ve anticipated
I trust will come about. What did he say
About her? Was she his?
Crito I must say nay.
Whose, then?
Crito His brother’s.
Chremes Then there is no doubt
She’s mine.
Crito What’s that?
Simo What are you on about?
Pamphilus [to himself]
Prick up your ears, lad!
Simo Why d’you think that’s so?
Chremes Well, Phania was my brother.
Simo Yes, I know. 1290
Crito From here he fled the war and followed me
To Asia, while he felt anxiety
To leave her. Ans since then I had not heard
Till now what happened to him – not a word.
Pamphilus [to himself]
I hardly know myself, so agitated
About this wholly unanticipated
News with fear, hope, joy, wonder.
Simo Honestly,
I’m filled with joy in many ways that she
Is proved a citizen.
Pamphilus I think you are,
Father.
Chremes One other thing, though, tends to jar 1300
My mind.
Pamphilus [to himself]
Well, you deserve to be upset.
You and your scruples, rogue! Not happy yet?
Crito What is it?
Chremes That the names don’t fit.
Crito When small,
She had another name.
Chremes Can you recall
The name?
Crito I’m trying.
Pamphilus [to himself]
Is my happiness
Doomed to be barred by his forgetfulness
When I myself possess the remedy?
I’ll not endure it. [aloud] Chremes, hear from me
That it was Pasibula.
Crito That’s the name.
Chremes That’s it.
Pamphilus Oh, I have heard the very same 1310
A thousand times.
Simo Well, Chremes, I can guess
That you believe we’re full of happiness
That you have now regained your memory.
Chremes I do indeed believe it, certainly.
Pamphilus Father, what’s yet to do?
Simo At last I find
My reconciliation.
Pamphilus Oh, how kind
A father! With regard to my being wed
To her, since she and I have shared a bed,
Chremes won’t change his mind.
Chremes A splendid plea,
Unless somehow your father won’t agree. 1320
Pamphilus Of course.
Simo Let it be so.
Chremes Then, Pamphilus,
Ten talents is the price.
Pamphilus Let it be thus.
Chremes I’ll hasten to my daughter. But, Crito,
Come with me since I do not think she’ll know
Her father.
Simo Have her brought here.
Pamphilus Splendid thought!
Give Davus orders that she may be brought
Hither.
Simo That’s quite impossible.
Pamphilus Indeed?
Why is that so?
Simo Much greater things impede
His progress.
Pamphilus What?
Simo He’s bound.
Pamphilus Not fairly, though.
Simo I ordered it.
Pamphilus I beg you, let him go. 1330
Simo Alright.
Pamphilus But quickly.
Simo Right, I’m on my way
Into the house.
Pamphilus Oh, what a happy day!
SCENE V
Davus [to himself]
Where’s Pamphilus, I wonder?
Pamphilus Hey, Davus.
Davus What man is that?
Pamphilus It’s I. It’s Pamphilus.
Davus Oh, Pamphilus!
Pamphilus Davus, you’ll never guess
What’s happened to me.
Davus That’s true. Nevertheless 1150
I know what’s happened to me.
Pamphilus And I do, too.
Davus The way it is, it’s better far that you
Should be acquainted with my tragedy
Before I learn of your felicity.
Pamphilus Glycerium’s found her parents.
Davus Well done!
Charinus [apart]
Oh!
Pamphilus Her dad’s a friend of somebody we know.
Davus Who?
Pamphilus Chremes.
Davus Great!
Pamphilus I can be wed today.
Charinus [apart]
He’s dreaming.
Pamphilus Now, about the child –
Davus Oh, say 1160
No more about the child. You’re favoured by
The gods, and no-one else but you.
Charinus [apart]
Then I
Am safe if this is true. I’ll have a chat
With them. [coming forward]
Pamphilus Who’s this? Charinus, you’ve come at
A happy time.
Charinus Fine!
Pamphilus Did you hear the news?
Charinus I heard it all; I beg you, don’t refuse
To let me take part in your own elation.
Chremes is yours now – with no hesitation
I know that he will give you everything
You want.
Pamphilus Indeed. Come on, no lingering: 1170
Let’s go inside before Chremes comes out.
Davus, go home and swiftly give a shout
To have her brought here. Quickly, don’t delay!
Davus I’m going. [to the audience] No use waiting until they
Come out. She’ll be betrothed there. What will hap
Will hap inside. Now clap us, people! Clap!